SAY IT... out loud.

[Deleted]

Can we have fuzzy sock parties with wine when I move back?

[Deleted]

What the f**k does she know about birds?

[phantom]

Why are we using chocolate oranges as bludgeoning devices?

[Deleted]

"Cause it's the only one I use"

(In response to being asked why I only always put down the one carpet).

[phantom]

"I'll sleep when there's more blood than caffeine in my veins."

[Deleted]

BECAUSE I'M BATMAN.

[HARRY JAMES POTTER]

"I can relate to my dog when I scratch her ears... that feeling of getting the itch... I'm telling you, it's better than drugs!"

[Deleted]

"I feel like there is avocado all over my face. Please tell me I'm wrong."

[Deleted]

AWWWWWW YISSSSSS, FINALLY, OH MY GOD, IS THIS REAL LIFE? SOMEONE COME HIGH FIVE ME! I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS PLACE.

[Deleted]

"Yeah, I don't think you should stick that in there"

[Deleted]

"Wait, you're going home? So you can't take care of me if I get sick this weekend? This isn't going to end well for me. Do we have a bucket?"

[Deleted]

(On Britt's behalf, since she doesn't wanna share her hilarious comments)

"I'm a pompous stick person, there are no named roles."

[Deleted]

Roommate: Find a place?
Lis: Nope, still homeless. That cardboard box on campus is starting to look good. How much tape would I have to buy to waterproof it, do you think?

[Deleted]

This is probably illegal, especially at 5 in the morning. Am I the best tour guide or what?

[Deleted]

It's just a ****fest of a blizzard out there. I am not dying on a bus tonight. That is not where I want to die. That doesn't even make the top 10.