Post by draco on May 27, 2012 9:53:21 GMT -5
Dear Diary Journal,
I don't really see the purpose of keeping one of these, but my mother once told me that some people keep one to keep their head on straight. And right now, that's exactly what I need. To clear up confusion...this is a JOURNAL, not a DIARY. Diaries are for girls. I, Draco Malfoy, am certainly not a girl.
So down to buisness. I'm scared. I may as well admit that. I never thought I'd ever have this feeling. Like...I lost everything, like there is no way to ever get it back. All because I was forced to get the Dark Mark, and sent on some bloody task. I'm proud, I swear! But Merlin knows that if I make one mistake. I slip up just once, and they're gone. My mother, my father, everyone I ever remotely cared for. And people wonder why I distance myself from most of the world. Because if I had to be like saint Potter and watching over the Magical World in all, I would just die. If I loved them, at least.
Truthfully, I never understood love until now. It's what caused scarhead to live, rumors are. But that's the only thing that's stopping me from curling into a ball and letting Voldemort kill me. Well...that and my pride. But it also made me realize that I do not want to marry Pansy. I don't love her. I just enjoy her company, or the idea of having someone. But it never really mattered. But now it does and I can't let anyone else into my life either. Not while I have this task. I can't let anyone else die because of me.
Perhaps my father was right that one day...perhaps I am a failure.
-- Draco L. Malfoy
I don't really see the purpose of keeping one of these, but my mother once told me that some people keep one to keep their head on straight. And right now, that's exactly what I need. To clear up confusion...this is a JOURNAL, not a DIARY. Diaries are for girls. I, Draco Malfoy, am certainly not a girl.
So down to buisness. I'm scared. I may as well admit that. I never thought I'd ever have this feeling. Like...I lost everything, like there is no way to ever get it back. All because I was forced to get the Dark Mark, and sent on some bloody task. I'm proud, I swear! But Merlin knows that if I make one mistake. I slip up just once, and they're gone. My mother, my father, everyone I ever remotely cared for. And people wonder why I distance myself from most of the world. Because if I had to be like saint Potter and watching over the Magical World in all, I would just die. If I loved them, at least.
Truthfully, I never understood love until now. It's what caused scarhead to live, rumors are. But that's the only thing that's stopping me from curling into a ball and letting Voldemort kill me. Well...that and my pride. But it also made me realize that I do not want to marry Pansy. I don't love her. I just enjoy her company, or the idea of having someone. But it never really mattered. But now it does and I can't let anyone else into my life either. Not while I have this task. I can't let anyone else die because of me.
Perhaps my father was right that one day...perhaps I am a failure.
-- Draco L. Malfoy