Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2012 17:51:07 GMT -5
I honestly have no idea why on earth I’m writing this all down. Perhaps my emotions have finally gotten the better of me? Who knows, maybe I have finally lost my mind. Well, I think that’s perhaps pushing it a little. I have been finding it harder and harder lately to concentrate on the most simple of tasks. I have honestly no idea why. If I’m completely honest I find it rather frustrating. I’m tired; tired of this entire situation and the mess I feel I may have got myself in too. I’m too old, too poor and too dangerous for her.
Tonks is a wonderful witch; she is so young and alive with personality. I enjoy her company and friendship; however I sense that something else is, shall we say, missing from the puzzle. Yes, yes maybe I’m looking too far in to all of this, but I do wonder sometimes. Why would she take interest in me? My kind aren’t meant to breed, we are savage snarling beasts by Wizarding standards. We are shunned upon and seen as nothing but killers. I have learnt to deal with the Wizarding point of view of such things all my life however.
I can feel the moon drawing ever closer. The sensation is not pleasant but something I have simply gotten used too. I’m honestly starting to become concerned with my own health. Wolfsbane is so difficult to come by and the ingredients are expensive. So, that’s how life is sometimes, it comes to bite you in the most unpleasant of ways. Oh well, no use dwelling on such things. Now I have lost what I wanted to say, this isn’t quite as simple as I thought it might have been. Here I am, sat in my room at The Leaky Cauldron trying to pull myself together. Goodness me, what has gotten in to me lately? I just don’t know what to do anymore.
If Padfoot were here, he would be able to offer some advice. Oh how I miss his company, he may have been irritating sometimes but he was still a good man and friend. Sirius would do anything for his friends; it was one of the many things I admired about him. Life can be cruel. War can be cruel. Life can also be unexpected. I can’t change what has happened unfortunately, but I’m slowly dealing with it all.
Ouch. I should probably go and get my back checked tomorrow; due to I fear the wound is getting worse. Here I go again, taking my frustration out on myself. Surely that can’t be healthy? No matter, that’s just the way things are sometimes. Now, I think I may get myself an early night. That and I have completely run out of words to say, so I shall leave this here for now. I can only hope things will improve with time, but we shall see.
Tonks is a wonderful witch; she is so young and alive with personality. I enjoy her company and friendship; however I sense that something else is, shall we say, missing from the puzzle. Yes, yes maybe I’m looking too far in to all of this, but I do wonder sometimes. Why would she take interest in me? My kind aren’t meant to breed, we are savage snarling beasts by Wizarding standards. We are shunned upon and seen as nothing but killers. I have learnt to deal with the Wizarding point of view of such things all my life however.
I can feel the moon drawing ever closer. The sensation is not pleasant but something I have simply gotten used too. I’m honestly starting to become concerned with my own health. Wolfsbane is so difficult to come by and the ingredients are expensive. So, that’s how life is sometimes, it comes to bite you in the most unpleasant of ways. Oh well, no use dwelling on such things. Now I have lost what I wanted to say, this isn’t quite as simple as I thought it might have been. Here I am, sat in my room at The Leaky Cauldron trying to pull myself together. Goodness me, what has gotten in to me lately? I just don’t know what to do anymore.
If Padfoot were here, he would be able to offer some advice. Oh how I miss his company, he may have been irritating sometimes but he was still a good man and friend. Sirius would do anything for his friends; it was one of the many things I admired about him. Life can be cruel. War can be cruel. Life can also be unexpected. I can’t change what has happened unfortunately, but I’m slowly dealing with it all.
Ouch. I should probably go and get my back checked tomorrow; due to I fear the wound is getting worse. Here I go again, taking my frustration out on myself. Surely that can’t be healthy? No matter, that’s just the way things are sometimes. Now, I think I may get myself an early night. That and I have completely run out of words to say, so I shall leave this here for now. I can only hope things will improve with time, but we shall see.