This Time We're Stuck in the Middle

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The Malfoy name was in shambles. Narcissa had spent the greater portion of her night staring down at news articles that berated her family, called them things and insinuated that they were far less than the noble, righteous people they pretended to be. It was a scandal all on its own, how badly this affected Narcissa. Back home with her family – the Blacks, obviously – everything had been about aesthetics. You had to look the best, dress the best, act the best. If people thought highly of you, you would rise easily to the top of the social ladder. That had been the only goal her parents expressed. They wished for their children to be great and to do great things. This shame was so bad that Narcissa was quite certain that both Cygnus and Druella Black were rolling in their graves. By the time that Narcissa got to sleep, the sun’s first rays of light had begun to touch the sky. She had crawled into the bed lined with expensive sheets beside the husband she could hardly look in the eye. He hadn’t stirred, and for that she was grateful. Regardless of her feelings towards him, or his towards her, Narcissa wanted to appear collected and put together as always. Sliding into their marital bed with dark bags under her eyes at the earliest hours of the morning hardly supported such a belief. Much needed sleep came easily but did not last for long. The bright lights from outside the window peered through her silk, floral curtains and fell onto her weary face. Birds chimed in various keys, singing various songs – all of which she knew by heart these days. The sound of the birds always came and went with the passing seasons, always to return again when the time was right. There had been a time early in her marriage to Lucius that she had found it peaceful. Now Narcissa could only find frustration in those melodic voices. It was time to face another day with her chin high and her nose higher. There was, as always, a great deal to attend to. Narcissa worked from home, brewing potions and selling them in bulk to those in need. She’d received by way of owl an order for two hundred vials of a very specific, and incredibly gentle calming draught from a potions supply store in Sussex. Why they didn’t have people working for them that could do such a thing for themselves was a question in itself, but Narcissa did not bother to ask. Instead she checked the ingredients in her book, despite having long since memorized them. She wrote down the proper quantities of each and went by way of floo powder to Diagon Alley. Of course, outside of her necessary wares there was little in the way of interest in the alley, and so she took a turn for the darker side of things and made her way to Bourgin and Burkes to peruse the dusty volumes of dangerous texts and the knick knacks one might sometimes find lining their shelves. There was always something off about the air of the shop, but it never unnerved Narcissa. Instead she strode in with a steady glare at anyone who dared to look at her just a bit too long and made her trek slowly through the store, aisle by aisle. No one bothered to approach her, her cold look at anyone who thought it wise to even open their mouth keeping the vultures at bay. Dim witted though the majority of them were, they knew better than to goad a hungry lioness, which is exactly what Narcissa was. The tiny, ceaselessly annoying bell above the door jingled and out of sheer force of habit, Narcissa Malfoy looked up. Who she saw should not have shocked her, but still managed to allow a look of surprise to settle over her features. When they had calmed her jaw clenched. Feet from her stood her husband, put together as ever. Narcissa felt her mouth go dry. She licked her lips and shook her head. “Lucius.”

Lucius | 684

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WC: 605

Lucius had never understood his wife becoming a potioneer. He after all had plenty of money between being on Hogwarts Board of Governors and all the wealth that came with being the Malfoy heir, though that position was now his son's. Plus, she had plenty of money from being a Black. So they didn’t need the money. But he supposed if it made her happy, he had no reason to question it. She was skilled at making potions, even more than he was. Plus, if she needed help, there was always their good friend Severus Snape to go to.

He had been sleeping longer than before he was in Azkaban but not necessarily better. Lucius' time there had worn him down, as well as all the stress from his family falling apart seemingly and his name being ruined both among the Death Eaters and the Wizarding World. Plus, he often had nightmares revolving around his wife and son. Yet when he did manage to stay asleep, it was like a rock. So he didn’t stir when his wife came to bed around dawn and he didn’t wake up until their bed was cold from her being long gone.

He allowed himself to sit back and consider what exactly was happening in his life right now. He knew that his wife was not happy with how their perfect world had come crashing down and that their son was being punished partly due to his failures, though honestly the fiasco at the Department of Mysteries was partly Potter's fault, not that many others saw it that way. Narcissa had avoided him for quite some time after he got out of Azkaban and left him alone when he needed her the most. He had come home from there a rather broken man and she shunned him. He hardly blamed her but still. Plus, she had allowed their home to be overtaken by the same Death Eaters and Dark Lord that belittled him daily and generally made his life a living hell.

He sighed and got up, getting ready for the day and shaving. He may look like he aged considerably but he would no longer let his appearance go. He was a Malfoy and he would start looking it! After dressing, he headed downstairs and asked where his wife was. A House-Elf said that she had gone to Daigon Alley to get potion ingredients and he nodded. He needed to pick something up that he had ordered from Bourgin and Burkes and flooed to Knockturn Alley, appearing not far from the shop. He went in and immediately saw his wife there and began to smile at her. She seemed surprised to see him and he saw her jaw clench. He gave an internal sigh at her not exactly pleased to see her husband. But he did give her hopeful smile. "Narcissa." Yet he didn’t approach her, unsure of how she would react to him.

He did however notice her licking her lips and his eyes unconsciously went there. He couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since she had willingly kissed him. Likely before he had been put in Azkaban. "What brings you here, Cissa? I needed to pick a few things up that I had ordered." Neither his question to her nor his explanation of his presence was needed but it was still a bit awkward between them. He loved her but he was starting to wonder how she felt about him. She hadn’t exactly been a loving wife towards him the last few months, though he likely did not deserve her to be so.

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Narcissa could feel every pair of eyes in the store trained on her and her husband. No one knew of the tension between them, that much had been a given. Cissa’s odd and somewhat off-color reaction to the husband she so desperately tried to appear supportive of was likely what had attracted the attention and the hoarse whispers that hit her ears. Narcissa took a breath and allowed herself to relax, shoulders sinking down away from the residence they had taken by her ears. Her face melted into its usual stern but still content expression as she placed the music box she had been examining back onto the shelf, waving her hand as a small plume of dust fluttered up around it. Lucius was trying. Narcissa found herself constantly reminding herself that he truly was doing everything he could to be better, stronger, more loyal. If she could not brush aside her qualms with him for even a moment in public, what good was she? She wiped her hands against one another before letting them fall to her side. His hopeful smile mirrored itself on her face, albeit a bit smaller and with a bit less positivity behind it. She gave a soft sigh, eyes falling closed for half a second before they opened to lay on him again, calm and almost accepting. “I needed a distraction,” She answered, cool voice flowing smoothly as she moved towards him, fingertips dragging against the spines of several volumes of spellbooks, some that looked very old. The leather was coarse beneath her fingertips. She smiled at the familiar feeling as she found herself close to him at least. She laid a hand on his shoulder and leaned in to press a kiss to each of his cheeks. “Diagon Alley wasn’t scratching the itch, so to speak.” She still needed to go back for her ingredients, and perhaps a new cauldron as the one she was currently using had gone a bit green after an experimental attempt at a new potion. “I’ve got quite a bit of shopping to do today, I should say, but I figured there would be something more fitting for my interests here.” Like his own, Narcissa knew that her explanation was truly unneeded. Lucius likely didn’t care what she was doing there. He often found her potionmaking petty or unnecessary, but Narcissa rather enjoyed it and so kept up with it regardless. “I received an order for another 200 vials of the calming draught I’ve been brewing.” With that she drew away a bit, her hand sliding along the curve of his shoulder and partly down his arm before falling back to her side. Cissa looked around. The eyes that had been focused on them scattered back to their other tasks when they realized she was staring at them with the cool eye of a tiger ready to pounce. Once again no one dared to defy her silent demand for respect and anonymity. Her gaze picked up to look over Lucius, who, at the very least, looked put together today. Yes, he was definitely trying, and that was in itself a relief. Though for him to be lingering around Borgin and Bourkes was likely the last thing he needed. God knows the store’s reputation would do nothing for him. Still, she said nothing, as it was likely hardly any better for her to be perusing the store herself. “What is it you ordered, Dear?” She asked as she allowed herself to be distracted once again by an item inside a glass case, chained to the base of it. The item shook, wriggled, and thrashed in an attempt to break its binds, much the same as a bludger. “I wasn’t aware you made a purchase.” That, in itself, was also unsurprising. It was Narcissa’s own fault that she remained out of the loop when it came to her husband and his affairs. She hadn’t exactly been one to ask lately. “Anything of interest?”

Lucius | 663

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WC: 658

Lucius glanced at all the people who were staring at him and his wife. There was this hard glint in them and everyone tried to go back to what they were doing. It seemed like they thought it odd how strange she was acting around him and the fact that he, an escapee from Azkaban, was in a Dark Arts shop. After they started to go back to what they were doing, his eyes went back to his wife, eyes softening considerably in a way that never happened towards another person. He was glad that she started to relax but her face was still stern towards him, his lips twitching slightly at the sight of the dust she stirred up.

She returned his smile with another one of her own but it was a bit smaller and something was off about it. But he decided that he was simply glad that she was warming up to him again. His eyes were concerned as she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, and he softly asked, "Narcissa?" He didn't ask if she was alright but his tone made that hopefully obvious. But her eyes opened and they were far softer to him then they had been in quite some time and they were even almost accepting of him. He knew that he still had a lot further to go in getting her to trust him.

Narcissa explained that she needed a distraction and he managed to say, "Ah," before she started to approach him. He considered that a minor miracle in itself. His breath stopped for a moment when she laid a hand on his shoulder and leaned up towards him. For a moment he thought she was going to kiss him, which she did, but on the cheeks and not the lips like he was hoping. Well, that was a start, he supposed. He did raise an eyebrow at her words about scratching her itch, mind easily going into the gutter but he knew that he dare not say anything about it, not when they were still so unsure around each other. He also longed to touch her but he decided to let her set the tone for everything. His lips twitched into a true amused smile at her interests lying here. "Of course."

She went on to explain that she had received an order for some calming potion and he nodded understandingly. "So you needed to get some ingredients?" He wondered if she had gotten them yet, which he wasn't she had or not since he didn’t see any bags around her. She withdrew from him, hand drawing down his shoulder and partway down his arm, and he missed her warmth. But he didn’t act on it, despite the urge to draw her back into his arms. And even if he thought she might be receptive to it, he would not do it in the middle of a public place.

He smiled at her term of affection for him, and although he wasn’t sure if it was for show or not, it meant something right? "I got something for Draco." He wasn’t trying to hide it but more knew that he really shouldn’t explain what it was right this moment. Her statement of not knowing that he had bought anything was hardly surprising and he gave the slightest shrug. "I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. I just didn’t think you needed to know everything I buy." Perhaps he was a bit defensive but lately it seemed like he needed to explain himself to everyone, including his wife. At her question of if it was anything of interest, he gave her a small smile. "I'll show you at home what all I bought." He glanced around, suddenly wanting to not be seen here. "Let me pick the items and pay for them and I'll help you pick your things up and we can head home?"

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It was more than obvious that Lucius sensed Narcissa’s less than favorable feelings towards him, though they’d gone months without talking about it. Truthfully, Cissa liked it better that way. If they didn’t discuss it perhaps she could simply will it away. She had, after all, calmed down towards him a good bit already, so who was to say that she wouldn’t continue? Things would, eventually, go back to the way they had been before when she had been young and so had he, and they had been madly in love and utterly lost in one another. It seemed, as was to be expected, that time and experience had changed them both. Narcissa had grown more set in her ways, and had developed a fiercely protective side to her. That, of course, she attributed to Mother’s instinct. Draco had been a blessing to Narcissa, had helped her grow and had shaped her into something even more responsible than she had been in her youth, when she still played with her sisters on their toy brooms, flying over trees in the grounds behind their childhood manor home. Draco had been what had turned her into an adult, and what had quite effectively forced Narcissa to focus on her future, and the future of her family. That wasn’t to say that Lucius hadn’t helped Narcissa grow, as well. With him he had brought out a wild side in the younger Narcissa. She had been capable of losing herself entirely in his arms and in his eyes. She had, for the first time, found happiness in someone, not something. He had taught her to love deeply and truly, and had shaped her, in the same way as Draco later would, into a newer, better version of herself. Perhaps the years had also made Narcissa bitter. The aching loss of both of her parents just a few years prior had torn her apart. The time of peace for her family had been marred by the devastating blow laid by the hands of fate. Perhaps that was when the potioneer began to fall from the grace of the happiness that her time with her husband and her son had granted her. Perhaps it was the way that her home and the very infrastructure of her household fell apart when Lucius was imprisoned. Perhaps it was something else entirely. It was safe to say, however, that the years had not left her without her scars. Lucius, too, had been changed by the years, but Narcissa found it was becoming harder and harder to explain exactly how. To say he had become cowardly would not be a lie, but that was only from her perspective. She truthfully had no idea of how his mind worked anymore, another side effect of getting older, or so she assumed. It was strange and almost painful to say that she didn’t know her husband, but that seemed to be the only truthful way to put it. Lucius’ defensiveness caught Narcissa off guard and the look she gave her husband was one of surprise. “I didn’t mean to imply that you were required to tell me everything,” She said, her voice pitched higher than usual, though the volume remained soft. “You used to tell me those sorts of things, that’s all I meant.” Though the words could be taken as accusatory, Cissa knew that she was mostly to blame. It was her who had distanced herself, not vice versa. She cast her glance down and nodded gently, agreeing to his plan. “I look forward to it,” She smiled nodding again and giving a gentle nod in the direction of the counter. “Go. I’ll wait for you.”

Lucius | 614

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Lucius would have loved to ask her about why she was avoiding him so much, even though he did know some of her reasons. But that didn’t mean he was happy with the arrangement. He could remember a time when they would have spent all day in bed in each other's arms if they could. But now…she had for the longest time not wanted to do anything with him, in public or private. When he first got back, he was upset that she essentially shunned hum and yet was surprised that she joined him in bed at night, though they hadn’t been intimate in a very long time.

He had noticed all the changes that had gone through Narcissa and knew that he had changed quite a bit as well. He had gone from the arrogant, cold ass to being that only in public. With her, especially when they were first married, he was warm and loving. And he still would be if she let him, which now seemed to be more and more like a real possibility. He had been there when her parents died and seen how much that affected her. And he wished that he could have been affected like that by his father's death. The man had been cold to everyone and perhaps Lucius took a bit after his father, but unlike his father, he was warm and loving towards his son and wife.

She seemed surprised by his becoming defensive, even if it wasn’t consciously directed towards, and he was sorry that he had done so. She had been a lot better than most others about questioning his every move and motive. She did sometimes but not like the Dark Lord or other Death Eaters. "I'm sorry," he muttered. It was hard for him to apologize to anyone but of all people most likely to get one from him, she was the one. "I know I did but I'm so used to be second guessed by everyone that it was habit to defend my actions." His words were soft enough for her to hear but so no else could. His lips twitched. "I still often want to tell you everything but wasn’t sure how you would react to it."

At her glance down, he frowned at her but not angrily. He was still about worried about their relationship but he knew that time could very well heal it. He gave her a small smile at her words of looking forward to it, a happy smile that was rare outside their home and even rarer now. There were the beginnings of a weight coming off his chest at her agreeing to spend time with him, even if it meant possible shopping. He nodded at her waiting for him, saying, "I won't be long," and he headed towards the counter, risking a slight brushing of his hand against hers. He had seen the cashier grab his stuff when he had gone in the store and already had it waiting for him to buy.

Lucius put the money down for the purchases and nodded at the man, heading back to his wife. He held out his arm for her to take. "Shall we?" He almost added an endearment but he still wasn’t sure how that would be received by her. Of course, he figured that offering his arm to her was risky since she might not want to have that much contact with him. He watched her carefully for any sign of her displeasure towards him for offering her his arm, ready to pull it back at the first sign of her not taking it.

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Narcissa watched Lucius with a distracted sort of gaze as he made his purchase rather swiftly, for which she was both grateful and loathsome. She was unsure exactly how she felt about spending so much time with him, but she knew she owed it to him to, at the very least, give him a chance to make things up to her, at least a little bit. He had, as she had previously noted, been trying very, very hard to be a good husband, and at this point it felt like her distaste was more on a personal level than one that had anything to do with him. When Lucius made his way back over and offered his arm, Narcissa hesitated in taking it, but with the feeling of eyes back on her again and a speck of tolerance in her heart, she looped her arm with his and took it gently. She offered him another weak smile before she turned his gaze ahead of her as they made their way out into the Alley. Narcissa was quiet for several long moments before she looked to Lucius for the briefest of moments. “Have you heard from Draco?” She asked as gently as she could, concerned for her son and his unsurprising lack of owls as of late. She’d sent him a good number of letters, but had received very few in return. She wondered if perhaps her husband had heard more from their wayward son than she had. Draco thought the world of his father, and had always tried quite hard to impress him. She had seen her son falter when Lucius was sent to Azkaban, and that had been yet another reason for her distance from her husband. Draco had needed him, and he had lost him. Shaking the thought from her head, Narcissa carried on. “I worry about him these days. Everything is… it must be a lot for a boy his age to handle.” She knew her husband would understand what she spoke of, but she kept her words vague for the sake of privacy. “He’s a strong boy, though. I know he is. We ought to be proud.” Draco was her safe topic – it was something that both she and Lucius could agree on, and it would bring on no tension or argument between them, and so she tried to linger on it, but found little else to say. She let out a soft laugh and shook her head. “I’m hardly as good with conversation as I used to be, I suppose. I’m sorry for that.”

Lucius | 429

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He could almost feel her uncertainty as he paid but Lucius knew that they couldn’t keep up this dance between them where they never touched, barely spoke, and couldn’t really look at each other, or at least she seemed not to and he tried to respect her wishes the best he could, no matter how he may wish it otherwise. But it seemed that there was somewhat of an understanding developing between them that they should at least start to repair whatever happened between them. And Lucius was grateful that Narcissa was giving him a chance to make it up to her, even if he wasn’t sure what he needed to make up for exactly. Maybe he should ask her about that soon.

She hesitated and he almost withdrew his arm since he did not wish to upset his wife, but she did take it a moment later. Her grip was gentle and it seemed to him almost tentative, and at her weak smile, he returned a brighter smile of his own, though it was still small since he generally wasn’t affectionate in public. But her gaze soon went in front of them as they left the shop in silence, which was slightly awkward. Often before everything, they would be silent but companionably so and never awkward like now. He wanted to break it but couldn’t find a topic to do so.

Thankfully she did and he gazed down at her when she glanced up at him, asking unsurprisingly about their son. His brow furrowed slightly, "No. Why? Have you?" He had not received many owls from their son and although it was a bit odd, Lucius didn’t think it was something to fret over. Although he hadn’t been there for his son, so too was his wife not there for him when he needed her after he got out, but she was there and yet distant.

He did smile briefly at her worry. "You’re his mother. It's part of your job to worry." Though he didn’t disagree with that there was a lot that Draco was going through. "He has Severus to keep an eye on him. He won't let harm come to our son." He nodded at their son being strong and that they ought to be proud. "He is a Malfoy and a Black, of course he's strong. And I am very proud of him." He knew that his son needed to hear that but he also needed both her to believe it and for him to say it out loud.

She seemed to run out of things to say and she gave a sad laugh, shaking her head and apologizing to him. "Don’t be. I know that I have not made things easy for you and Draco and I'm sorry for that." At one point, Lucius would have dreaded apologizing or appearing weak, even in front of his wife, but there was much he truly was sorry for. But much was not really good for public discussion. He smiled sadly. "We used to talk so easily. What happened, Cissa?" His voice was soft and his eyes were earnest when he gazed down at her.

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Narcissa had to smile as Lucius made the comments about Draco being strong, a trait given to him by both his heritages. It was a reassurance that their families had both stood steadfast in the face of adversity and had come out better for it, stronger, wiser, and mightier. It was precisely the reassurance that she had needed, without knowing she did. She shook her head. “I haven’t, unfortunately, no. Sometimes he writes to thank me for the things I send him, but never much more than that I’m afraid.” She grinned a bit wider at the note that she was supposed to be worrying. She often liked that reminder, as simple as it might have been. It made her feel a bit less childish or overbearing. She loved Draco dearly, and regardless of how old he got, would always worry. There was no doubt in her mind about that. Her mother had joked once that all a mother knew to do was love, teach, and worry. It was shocking how true that had seemed, though Narcissa had thought it damn near daft at the time. It was funny how things changed with the times. Lucius spoke the words that had been lingering unsaid between them for months, and had she been alone, Narcissa might have released the broken sob that brewed uncomfortably in her chest. It hurt, as it lingered and stole her breath and her voice from her for a long moment. Had she been alone she might have clutched her chest, might have gasped, but instead she only cast her eyes down at the pavement and lingered in silence a few moments longer, trying to remember how to breathe, how to speak, and to decide exactly what she wanted to tell her husband. How does one tell the man they love so dearly, and that they had once felt a multitude of indescribable things for, that they no longer felt connected? Narcissa knew that, with time, effort, and a considerable amount of patience and good luck that they could be mended. It was just a matter of finding all these things in their proper quantities. Her tongue clicked audibly against the roof of her mouth as the pain in her chest ebbed away into a dull ache and a knot of nerves behind her navel that made her feel a bit sick. “Time,” She suggested and answered all at once. “Things have changed, Lucius. Many things. Our son has grown, our lives have been altered irreparably and unimaginably. We have entered and left our own proverbial Hell more times than I can count…” Narcissa trailed off, turning her gaze up at her husband. “If that doesn’t change a relationship at least I bit, I don’t know that I can think of anything that can.” And so Narcissa danced around the question because she had no real answer to it. She couldn’t give him a straight answer because she hadn’t figured it out herself, yet. She knew she had been disappointed in him, but she could not answer from his perspective and so she remained silent, answering a dozen un-proposed queries before they had a chance to be spoken. “You ask me something I don’t have an answer to, I’m sorry.”

Lucius | 543

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She smiled at his words about Draco being strong due to their families and he could tell that she needed those words. "And we are strong too, Cissa." It was fact but also a promise that he would be strong for her and Draco, if not for himself as well. But it was a bit of a plea for her to be strong for him and with him as well and if not for him, then at least their son. He gave a slight grunt at her words about Draco replying to her sending him something. "He just doesn't want to worry us, I imagine."

Of course, his words about it was her job to worry as a mother made her grin widen and Lucius felt his heart get lighter. It had been a good while since he was last able to make his wife smile so widely and he couldn’t help the crooked grin that broke out on his face. He would do anything to make her smile and laugh again like he used to be able to.

He was aware of her enough to know that his comments about things not being easy and they didn’t talk as easily as in the past, along with his question of what happened, caused his wife pain and he was immediately sorry. Once again he mumbled softly, "I'm sorry, Cissa." He nearly wanted to pull her into the nearest alley where they wouldn’t be seen and hold her. But that was hardly proper behavior, and he wasn’t sure that would be welcome. He did shift his wand/walking stick into the hand that her arm was and used his other hand to gently stroke her hand. He wasn’t worried about anything but trying to comfort his wife the best he could in public and when she seemed less than thrilled with his touch.

Lucius waited patiently for her to collect herself a bit and sighed at her answer of time. "They say time can heal all wounds but it can also create quite a few." He frowned but not at her. "And I messed things up quite a bit, didn’t I?" Of course, the changing of their relationship was not just his fault, although it often felt like it was, and not just from Narcissa distancing herself from him. "And I'm sorry for my part."

He sighed softly at her answer of not having a good answer, though he wasn’t upset or disappointed in her. It was more of a sigh that meant he expected that. "Don't be. This is not exactly the best place for this conversation." He watched her carefully at his next words. "But we do need to have this conversation, Narcissa, and sooner rather than later." But not yet. She needed sometime to gather her thoughts and he needed time to think of how to bring up his hurts and worries without hurting her or blaming her completely. "Maybe when we get home, we can just sit and talk? Like we used to?" He was hopeful as he awaited her answer.

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Lucius’ promise of their family’s strength wasn’t much of a comfort, but Narcissa accepted it regardless. She knew this, she had known this forever. Questioning it had never gotten her far, but it was far easier to disbelieve than it was to put all her effort into seeing promise in a cause when there was so much potential for it to fail. Narcissa had never believed herself weak, however, and even if her family had been she knew that, if nothing else, she would know and be otherwise. She nodded at her husband’s suggestion about Draco. “No, of course he doesn’t. What child does?” Her husband’s apology caught her off guard. Narcissa was quite certain that the amount of times he’d apologized for anything could be counted on her own two hands. They had very rarely had a need for verbal apologies, as they often did not get very far in Cissa’s book. The dark witch was very firmly of the belief that actions spoke volumes while words said very little, and any time Lucius had gotten on her bad side, they had always solved things by example and not by a verbal promise that meant little more than something hypothetical. Regardless, it was nice to hear from time to time. Narcissa shook her head slowly and raised her free hand. “Don’t, Lucius. I appreciate it, but apologies are…” She trailed off a moment, recollecting her thoughts. “I know you’re sorry. I see it in your eyes every day.” His fingers felt nice as they stroked her hand. She had missed being close to him like this, and she was very certain that if she stayed this way much longer he might win her over – if only for an hour or two. Narcissa was trying her best to let her guard down, just for a little while. Her husband deserved as much. “Time is a mistress that no one wants to acknowledge, I’d reckon.” Narcissa gave a soft laugh. “She steals just as much as she gives. That’s the way of the world, however unfortunate.” Shaking her head once more, she finally looked over at the wizard, eyes soft. “You did, Lucius. Unfortunately some of the wounds may heal but will certainly leave a scar. But that does not mean we have to stop living. We’ll grow and adapt but some things will never go away.” That was another sad truth. “We’ll figure something out, though. We always do.” Of that much, the noble woman was sure. She straightened her posture again, though it had only slightly slouched, just to reaffirm her confidence and her ability to hold her head high. She was a Malfoy, for Merlin’s sake, and she was going to act like it. Lucius’ next words nearly made her slump again but she ground her teeth and gave a curt nod. “Later. Perhaps when we get home, like you suggested.” She spoke, her voice just as pointed. “For now let’s see where the day takes us, does that sound fair enough?” Narcissa sounded hopeful. She pivoted as they approached the apothecary she most often used to get her ingredients. Pointing up at the sign she gave her husband a meek smile. “We’re here.”

Lucius | 536

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WC: 518

He grinned slightly at her agreement to his words about their son. "I'm sure there are a few children that enjoy worrying their mothers, the Weasleys come to mind." His nose wrinkled in distaste at the thought of that deplorable, disgraced family. The lot of them were awful and it seemed the children got worse, the younger they were. Yes, it would be better if they were mentioned as little as possible since they truly weren’t worth it.

Narcissa seemed about as surprised as him about his apology to her. They almost never apologized to each other, instead showing through their actions that they were sorry. He had been married to her long enough that he knew that a spoken apology was not always accepted by his wife. She even said that he shouldn’t but that she appreciated it nonetheless. He nodded at her beginning of a sentence, guessing what she was trying to say. He did smile briefly at her noticing in his eyes but he still shook his head slightly. "No, I should never have put you and Draco in a position that I need to apologize for, Cissa. And I will make it up you, I swear."

He watched her reaction to him stroking her hand, glad that she didn’t seem displeased by his actions nor did she pull her hand away or tell him to stop. Did that mean that they were on their way to going back to the way they were, even if it was a small start? Lucius was under no illusions that it would take time to win her back over, but it was time he was willing to spend since she meant so much to him. He smiled softly at her laugh and her words. "I remember when we were younger and I was trying to woo you." Back when the only worrisome things were how you would survive all the tests and whether the fellow student you liked actually liked you or not.

He expected her words of agreeing that he messed up but that didn’t stop him from wincing slightly at hearing her words. But her words about figuring things out gave him hope. "You think so, truly?" His voice was full of hope and he desperately hoped that she wouldn’t dash their hopes of growing stronger to the ground. He did smile at the straightening of her posture. She was a fighter and that was part of what drew her to him so many years ago.

His words displeased her and he shook his head. "No. That talk can wait until we both have had time to think about things. I had hoped that tonight would just be getting to know each other again." He had started out firm but his last sentence was unsure and almost shy, glancing at her uncertainly. But her words about seeing where the day brought them was met with a nod. "That sounds fair." He turned with her, raising a brow at her rather obvious words before he nodded and opened the door, holding it for her. "Ladies first, Cissa."

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Narcissa couldn't help but to cast another amused smile at her husband at his jibe about the Weasley's, and though she shook her head it was hardly a disagreement. It was common knowledge by now that the oversized brood of runts, wimps, and ingrates were particularly skilled at causing trouble and making cause for worry. Molly Prewett had come from a respectable family, and, had she married into one, Narcissa might have felt sorry for her. As it were, however, Narcissa felt only that justice had been served and that Mrs. Weasley had gotten exactly what she had asked for with her muggle-loving ways. There was no sympathy to be had. "I would call that lot chimpanzees before I would call them children," She chided with another shake of her head. "Let us just be grateful that our son knew better than to get involved with that lot." Lucius' apology continued then and nearly made Cissa hang her head. Her shoulders slouched just a fraction - not enough for anyone but herself to notice - and she looked over at him. "The time for should or shouldn't is over, Lucius. Now we let it go and we move on. No more 'sorry', no more hesitation. You know how to make things up to me. If you truly wish to do so, you will. I know as much." Her nod now was a succinct, silent way of saying that the conversation, at least in that respect, was over. Luckily for Narcissa, it appeared that Lucius was going to be compliant. He immediately started up a new string of conversation that seemed to light up his face, if only a bit. "You were rather efficient at it, I think." She joked in return, a small, nostalgic grin curling at the corners of her lips. "We certainly were one Hell of a couple." And that was no understatement. Coming from two very distinguished families, it was almost expected of them to come together. And they, of course, had done so, but it was nice to know that it was on their own terms and not due to their families pressing them. Love was always lovelier if it came on it's own, when fate laid a hand rather in due time rather than being pushed, rushed, and forced. "Alright," Narcissa relented finally, her face softening in a way it used to when Bellatrix or Andromeda would argue over things and turn to her as a mediator. It was a very gentle way of saying her decision was final and that her opinions would not change. It was the face of a natural-born mother, patient but still strong. "We'll get to know each other again, Lucius. We'll put together the pieces and find out what we've lost and what went wrong... and then we'll mend it." She gave a reassuring squeeze of his hand before he was reaching out to open the door for her, polite and proper as ever. She released him and slipped inside, ducking immediately over to the porcupine quills and poking through the lot for the proper ones. It was a moment before she found them, grabbing several jars for herself before looking over her shoulder at Lucius. She smiled slightly at him. "You know, you're awfully tense lately. Perhaps I should start making a habit of slipping this calming draught into your tea." Narcissa's joke was as lighthearted as she had been in months as she brushed past her husband to go and grab some herbs she would need to complete the potion. "Then again you might sleep even later, and what good are you tucked away in bed?"

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Narcissa seemed amused by his talk about the Weasleys and Lucius grinned down at her, snorting in amusement at her comparing them with chimpanzees. "I do not know. I have seen chimps that are far better behaved than them, and with much more class, too." He did nod at her being glad that Draco avoided the Weasleys. "He does know better than that." His smile turned self-critical. "He at least learned one good thing from me." He didn’t think that his wife would disagree all that much with his assessment.

He nodded at her words about no more apologizing but shook his head slightly at knowing what to do to make it up to her. "I used to know what to do to make things up to you, but now? I'm not so certain about a lot of things, Cissa." He resisted the urge to rub at his face and gave a sigh but understood her nod to mean that she regarded this conversation over, or at least for now.

He smirked at her words of him being efficient at wooing her. "Well, I am a Malfoy. Whatever I want, I get. And I wanted you." He left unsaid but strongly implied that that was still the case, that he still desired her even if she had been acting cold towards him recently. His smirk became a not quite sad smile. "We were, weren't we? And we still can be." Lucius still found his wife to be the most beautiful person ever and was still madly in love with her. Perhaps their drifting was a natural part of getting older and being parents? He wasn’t sure and dearly hoped that that wasn’t the case.

She agreed to his plan of putting off the more serious talk for later and to instead get to know one another better again as well as work things out. "Fixing this will take time, won't it?" Although it was a question, it was most rhetorical since he knew the answer already. But the gentle squeeze of his hand by her filled him with more hope than anything had in the longest time. He followed after her, staying close to her but trying not to crowd her, running his hand gently across some bottles of ingredients, raising his eyebrow in amusement at some of them.

Her voice broke through his amusement and he stared at her for a moment, stunned by her teasing. "Trying to drug your husband, Cissa?" He however gaped at her comment about sleeping and asking him about being useful in bed. He wasn’t sure he dared do but he tentatively asked, "I'm sure you could find pleasant uses for me in bed." When they were younger, he would have no qualms about teasing her like that but he wasn’t sure about her reaction anymore. But as she brushed past him, he let his hand brush across her hip, lightly and rather tentatively, and without any hidden meaning in the touch. He just wanted to touch her and reassure himself that his comments weren’t going to get him in too much trouble.